Heat Haze of August 15th
by corbeau-noir
Summary: "Why aren't you happy to be alive?" Reset. Repeat. "Why must you try so hard?" Reset. Repeat. "You should be happy you're still alive." Reset and repeat August 15th until he can get her back. -warnings: character deaths, blood, and fem!Tsuna-


**AN:** I said I was going to fiddle around with fem!Tsuna oneshots, so I did. Though this one is mostly focused on Gokudera. I'm publishing at like 4 AM, so sorry for any mistakes. I recommend watching the PV for Heat-Haze Days, it's a Vocaloid song, if you haven't all ready. You'll be less confused since this story was modeled after said PV.

**Warnings:** Lots of blood and character death. Rated T for a reason.

**Disclaimer****:** Me, I don't own KHR or the Vocaloid song used.

* * *

_Countless times have had me black out in the laughing heat like this_

_This cycle has repeated for decades. I'd realized that a long time ago._

_In this kind of clichéd story, there must only be one ending._

_Beyond this repeating summer day, it has to exist._

* * *

It was August 15th, a nice day to be out outside. The sun was shining brightly making it very hot. Summer was still going and students of all ages found themselves absorbed by different tasks either with friends or alone. Right now, Gokudera Hayato was sitting down on a swing set next to one of his only friends, Tsuna, talking about random things. Neither of them didn't have anything to do after all.

It would have been three of them, if it wasn't for their other friend, Yamamoto, having baseball practice today. He was glad about that though, this way he could spend time with Tsuna. A lot of people thought he had a crush on the girl, or that they were dating, but he didn't and they weren't. At least he thought he didn't like her more than a friend anyway. He just respected and loved her in a nonromantic way. He loved all her imperfections that made her perfect, made her human. She was nothing like those girls that fawned over him at school all the time. Not with her short fluffy brown hair that always had a few pieces that stuck out, or how she constantly tripped on her own two feet, or when she freaked out whenever there was going to be a test. She was different, and he loved that.

She was also kind, he noted that when she allowed some stray cat to rest in her lap. It purred contently as it slept and she scratched its neck. He knew she didn't do too well around animals besides her own cat Natsu; maybe this one was an exception. Maybe she would take it home. Her mother had a habit of taking in children, so why not cats?

"It's nice out." The boy mused aloud as he looked up at the sky.

"Really, I kind of hate summer." She murmured boldly, which surprised him. Wasn't she the one practically begging for school to be over with? And now she was rejecting the thing she wanted.

Jade colored eyes locked with large caramel colored ones and Gokudera could have sworn he saw something strange in them. Regret, fear, hate, anger, he couldn't quiet place it, but he felt unease. Deciding that it was probably the heat getting to him, gave his friend a smile. It was rare for him to that with other people, but she deserved it.

A small smile slowly crept its way on her face, but quickly faltered when the cat suddenly jumped out of her arms. Not hesitating, Tsuna quickly got up and followed after it, and Gokudera followed after her. She pursued the cat even when it ran into the street not bothering to check the light. Gokudera's feet stopped automatically on the curb when he noticed that the light changed to a glaring red. His eyes widen and breath hitched in his throat when he saw a truck that came out of nowhere barreling straight towards the unsuspecting girl.

He wanted to scream out, to her name and pull her to safety, but his feet stayed firmly in place. He cursed the fear that paralyzed his body as he reached out desperately to the first person that ever accepted him for being him.

Tsuna momentarily locked eyes with her friend, wondering why he looked so scared. Then she heard it. She turned, stared her death straight in the face wide eyed and full of fear when the pure white truck slammed straight into her frail body and one last desperate scream tore its way out her throat.

Gokudera watched in horror as her small body flew into the air and landed with a disgusting sounding thud on the concrete. He saw the ring, a precious thing passed down in her family from generation to generation fly of her finger and shatter on the ground. It seemed to mimic her now broken and useless body.

Her scarlet blood painted the entire area red, the truck, the street, even his clothes had the sickening red liquid on them. The scent quickly mingled with the stuffy summer air and choked him. Shocked by the change in events, Gokudera fell back and held his hand to his mouth forcing back the bile that dared try and make its way out as he stared at the grotesque scene in front of him.

Gokudera's vision became distorted from unshed tears in his eyes. Even reality became nothing but a mocking haze due to the heat waves and he felt himself slipping out of consciousness. As he did so, he swore he saw someone smiling at him from the other side of the road. It looked exactly like him, even had his clothes except his hair was red and eyes an inhuman pink color. He was entirely red, like the blood that now stained everything. Maybe it was his mind going insane from the heat.

"_This is real." _

He swore he heard the illusion brought on by the heat haze laugh as his world finally went dark.

Somewhere, a clocked stopped ticking and was covered in blood.

* * *

Gokudera's body jolted up right suddenly. His breathing was harsh and ragged and his clothes clung to him due to his cold sweat. But he didn't care. He groped around his nightstand until he found what he was looking for, his phone. Immediately, he turned the contraption on and searched for the time.

It read in bright numbers and letters: August 15th 12:05 PM. For a long while he stared at it unmoving, unblinking, before he finally let out a sigh of relief. All of that must have been a dream then. He scoffed. More like a nightmare. Chuckling softly filled with new found happiness, the teen got off of his bed and quickly changed out of his gross clothes.

As soon as he was finished, his phone alerted him with a new message. He flipped it open, it was from Tsuna.

_From: Tsuna_

_outside your apartment and waiting._

_Sent: August 15__th__ 12:30PM_

Immediately, the boy ran out of his home and down the steps to greet the awaiting female. She was dressed in the same clothes that she died in. No, he can't think about that stuff right now. Not when she was standing right there in front of him.

"Gokudera-kun, are you okay?" concern laced her tone and flickered in her eyes. "You seem like you have something on your mind."

The silver-haired teen shook his head. "I just woke up that's all."

"Really?" she looked at him with a shocked expression and then smiled. "Did you stay up watching some Sci-fi special again or something?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "I'm just tired that's all. We should get going before the day passes by us."

The way they spent there day played out exactly like it did in his dream. He could remember everything vividly. Like he knew exactly when she suddenly tripped, when he lost on of his rings in a bush, when they had passed Yamamoto while he was practicing. Everything had an odd sense of déjà vu, and it frightened him.

"You want to go to the park?" Tsuna had suddenly asked while they seemed to be heading in that direction.

"No!" he said a little too loudly and gripped her wrist a little too suddenly. "I-I mean I think we should head to your house. It's really hot out we can stay there and play video games."

The brunette was silent for a moment, before she finally nodded her head. "That seems like fun."

He mentally sighed in relief and released her wrist with a quiet apology. She didn't seem to mind it though and lead the way towards her home. Gokudera calmed down immensely, she was safe. No longer did he have to worry about that truck slamming into her body, or her blood splashing everywhere.

But suddenly, as they both stepped off the curb, everyone around them gasped. Some of them pointed shakily to the sky with their mouths wide open. Naturally, Gokudera looked up to see what was happening. Above him, the wire to a crane holding a bunch of poles snapped and they all tumbled out. One made its way straight towards him. He stood rooted to his spot in complete fear.

"Move!"

To his surprise, he was suddenly jerked back; the sudden movement caused him to land right on his butt. And to his horror, he saw a head of messy brown hair and a person with kind brown eyes glance back at him a smile.

Once again, he found himself desperately reaching out, but he could do nothing. The pole stabbed right through her torso and her blood quickly stained the ground again. Her ripping scream and wind chimes filled the summer air as her body slowly and agonizingly slipped down the pole and onto the bloody cement. All around him, people were gasping and screaming, some even crying. All he could do was continue staring at the unreal scene in front of him as his friend coughed up blood. He had failed to protect her again. This all had to be a dream, some kind of reoccurring nightmare.

"_This is the real thing. She's dead. You're alive. Be happy."_

The shimmering heat laughed from his spot next to the shocked teen and quickly vanished as soon as he appeared. Gokudera swore as he began to slip out of consciousness, he saw Tsuna smiling.

Once again, a hand reached up and smeared blood on a stopped clock. Another timeline had failed.

* * *

Once again he found himself jolting up from bed with a rapidly beating heart.

Once again the clock read August 15th 12:05PM.

He immediately got up from bed and changed his clothes. He wasn't going to even bother to wait for the text. He didn't have time, had to save her. He didn't want to see her die again.

He found her waiting outside his door looking at her phone. She jumped slightly when she noticed him.

"G-Gokudera-kun, I was just about to text you." She smiled that perfectly crooked smile of hers. "Where should we g-Hey, w-what's the matter? Where are we going?"

He didn't answer her question, just ran up the stair toward the roof. Maybe it was the ground that was dangerous. As long as she stayed away from there, she would be safe. He would see to it. He was going to turn around, make sure she was safe when he saw it.

His blood-red doppelganger, the heat haze, was waiting at the top of the stairs cigarette dangling between his teeth. It grinned when it noticed the other boy, and nodded his head. The smirk that played on his lips was taunting, he turned back around to face the sky and wordlessly pointed behind Gokudera.

His hand was empty.

Quickly, with a rapidly beating heart, he turns around only to see Tsuna's desperate and wide eyes looking back at him. This time, it was her own hand that tried in vain to grab hold of him. Like a coward, he closed his eyes tightly, but that didn't help because he can still hear the sickening cracks and thuds her body made as she tumbled down the stairs.

Finally, he opens his eyes and sees her once again dead figure lying at the bottom. Her limbs twisted in odd angles, her mouth opened slightly with blood trickling from the corner. She looks like a broken doll surrounded by a scarlet curtain. And he hates himself for letting that happen.

"_You should be happy."_

The heat haze whispered close to his ear, he can smell the stench of blood coming of it. Gokudera strikes out with a fist, but only touches thin air before passing out once more.

When he wakes up, the teen is in an entirely black room. The only light given off was the one coming from hundreds, maybe thousands of different clocks all ticking. He catches sight of a few stopped and stained with red. That's when he sees one person he hates the most, his bloodstained self whose hand placed on a stopped clocked. He watches as the hand runs across it turning it red.

"I'm bringing her back!" he shouts.

His duplicate just stares at him with a frown on his face.

"You can't fucking stop me!" his yell is full of determination and power.

The mirror image just stares without an answer.

His world soon turns black again.

* * *

He wakes up, same bed, same day, same time.

"I need to try again."

A fire that consumes everything. Reset. Repeat.

A car that strikes her dead. Reset. Repeat.

Blood on the train rails. Reset. Repeat.

A tightly wrapped noose. Reset. Repeat.

"_Why are you trying?"_ Reset. Repeat.

Too many pills. Reset. Repeat.

Multiple gunshots. Reset. Repeat.

A bloody metal bat. Reset. Repeat.

"_Why aren't you happy?" _ Reset. Repeat.

* * *

Gokudera leans his hand on a still moving clock. All around him, the once noisy room is now silent and smelled strongly of blood. Tsuna's blood. All around him, everything was red indicated his constant failure. He had watched her die too many times, it must have been decades.

He had no idea how many clocks were left, how many chances he had left.

Probably none by now.

His vacant eyes stared at the scene that unfolded through a clocks surface. Tsuna was out in the street following after the cat. This was the very first one. Maybe he could try this one last time, if his plan worked, she would live.

Gritting his teeth in determination, he jumped into the loop replacing the him that was there now. Just as the truck appeared, he grabbed Tsuna by the arm and threw her out of harm's way. Once again, he saw her pretty brown eyes widen in shock. He smiled even the truck slammed into his body.

After all, you end with the beginning.

Though he didn't die on impact, he felt the pain shoot through his body, felt and heard his bones crack, felt himself fly through the air. There was another loud crack when he landed, and blood quickly began pooling around him.

'_Serves you right.'_ He mouthed at the heat haze at looked at his body with tears streaming down its face. No longer did he have to play that bastard's silly game. He was finally free, and so was Tsuna. She would live, and that's all that matter.

With his life quickly fading, he looked over to Tsuna one last time. She was sobbing and crying for help, frantically looking back and forth between him and everyone else. He felt bad that he got blood on her clothes, but she was safe. Just as he was about to close his eyes for the last time, he stopped something he wish he didn't see. A second heat haze that looked exactly like Tsuna, but different from his own in terms of color, this one was orange. They locked eyes for a few seconds and she smirked before placing a hand on Tsuna's shoulder and whispered something into the frightened girl's ear. He knew those lip movements well.

"_This real."_

Gokudera's eyes widened one last time before his world went completely dark.

* * *

The new heat haze stood in a hallway full of clocks, but unlike the previous one, the ones that stopped ticking were shattered. The shards cut into her shoes, tore her feet, but she didn't care. She stared at the newest one that had stopped and shattered it with her bare hands. Blood dripped on the floor, but she didn't mind.

She had lost track of how many times this fool had tried to rewrite everything.

Speaking of the fool, there she was now, looking pitiful as ever with tears still running down her cheeks.

"_Both of you can't live you know? The more you will it, the more it'll happen. Be glad you're alive."_

"I don't care. I'd rather have him live me."

Oh how human determination both amused and annoyed her.

* * *

Early August 15th morning, a girl woke up albeit sluggishly. She ignored the liveliness her house had to offer this early in the morning with adopted younger siblings running around everywhere. Leaning her head against the wall, she allowed the tears to flow freely from her caramel colored eyes.

"Natsu." She whispered hoarsely to the cat cradled in her arms. "I failed this time too…"

A figure clad entirely in orange then appeared next to her bed. Reaching out a hand, it brushed the girl's brown bangs out her face and tsked softly in disapproval. It however could not mask the amused grin on its face.

"_Be happy you're alive."_

* * *

**AN:** That's probably going to be the bloodiest thing I write. I hoped you guys liked it, I might do another one for_ Imagination Forest_, probably with fem!Giotto and G, because why not?

Writing stuff like this helps my writers block or whatever.

I know the second Heat Haze was blue, but I made it orange because flame colors duh.

Oh, this was a non!mafia au and Tsuna and Gokudera met on normal-ish terms that didn't involve bombs and shit.

Review and tell me what you think. I'll try to start replying to me reviews like a good person. I promise.


End file.
